Trixie Belden stared at her reflection in the mirror. She ran her hand through her hair and wondered if she could handle what she was about to do. She knew it was time, but she was terrified. She really had no idea how people were going to react.
Today was the day she would return to school. It had been almost nine months since she had set foot in school. She had had a month of tutoring to help her prepare for her return, but she didn't thin she would ever be ready.
Knock, knock.
"Who is it?" Trixie asked, looking at her closed bedroom door.
"It's Mart."
"What do you need?"
"Moms wanted me to check to see if you were ready."
"I'll be down in a few minutes," Trixie said.
"All right," Mart said and she listened to him walk away.
Grabbing her hairbrush, Trixie brushed back her hair and quickly pulled it into a ponytail. As much as she wanted to leave it down, she felt more comfortable with it pulled back. She quickly pulled on a pair of pants and then a new shirt that went with them.
Once dressed, she slipped on her shoes and made her way downstairs, trying to squash the uneasy feeling that settled in her stomach. She quietly moved to the table and settled in to eat her breakfast. She picked at her cereal, not really hungry.
"Trixie, are you sure you don't want us to take you to school today?" Peter Belden asked.
"I'm sure," Trixie said quietly. "But thank you for the offer."
"She'll be fine," Mart said. "She'll have Di, Dan and me with her."
Trixie offered Mart a small smile, but wasn't very confident she would be all right.
At that moment the phone rang. Helen Belden asked, "Trixie, could you get that?"
"Sure, Moms," Trixie said getting to her feet. She missed the grin on her mother's face. She reached the phone and picked it up. "Crabapple Farm."
"Good morning," said a male voice that immediately brought a smile to her face. It was Jim.
"Good morning," Trixie said.
"How are you doing?"
"Okay."
"Really?"
"I guess."
"Trixie, you are going to be fine. You're going back to school and getting back to a normal routine. And I know you're worried about this, but you're not alone. Mart, Di and Dan will be right there for you."
"I wish you were here," Trixie said quietly as she leaned her forehead against the wall.
"I wish I was too, but you know I have to register for classes for the spring semester."
"I know."
"Trixie, we need to go. The bus will be here in a minute," Mart said.
"I'll let you go," Jim said. "But I promise I will talk to you later."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Bye, Trixie."
"Bye, Jim."
As she put the phone down, she stared at it. She wished Jim was in Sleepyside right then instead of New York City.
Since she had been home, she had felt safe. But she really only felt at ease when Jim was around. She couldn't explain it, but it was the way she felt.
"You ready?"
Trixie turned and saw Mart standing there. Taking a breath, she said, "Let's go."
Together they left the house and made their way to the bus stop. When they got there, they found Dan and Di waiting for them.
"Morning, Mart. Morning, Trixie," Dan said.
"Morning," Trixie said.
"How are you?" Di asked.
"All right," Trixie said. "But nervous."
Di wrapped her arm around Trixie's shoulder. "Everything will be all right."
"Yeah," Dan said as the bus approached. "And we're here if you need us."
Trixie offered them a small smile as the bus came to a stop. "Thanks guys."
* * * * *
Arriving at school, Trixie took a deep breath and climbed off the bus. As she made her way toward the building, she realized Mart, Dan and Di had taken places on each side of her. She felt like she could handle anything with her fellow Bob-Whites by her side.
Once they were in the building, Trixie watched her fellow students standing by the lockers staring at her as she made her way down the hall. She wished they would stop staring like she was a freak.
They proceeded to the office. Mart went in with Trixie to help her get her schedule. Dan and Di hurried onto their homerooms before the bell rang. When Trixie had her schedule, Mart walked her to her homeroom.
Outside the door, Mart said, "I'll see you at lunch."
"Okay," Trixie said.
Mart reached over and squeezed her arm. "It'll be all right."
"Thanks, Mart."
"You're welcome."
As Mart headed for his homeroom, Trixie took a deep breath and made her way into her own. She had to face the people she had known since she was little.
* * * * *
As the day progressed, Trixie was quite aware of the hushed conversations. Several times she had heard people saying that she had finally returned after being on the run for months. Others had said she'd been pregnant and sent to live with other relatives until the baby was born. And a few others commented about her return after seeing the article in the Sleepyside Sun.
The comments bothered her a little, but it was the constant staring that made her the most uncomfortable. Word had spread quickly when she came home and she didn't think they really had a reason to stare.
Trixie entered the cafeteria and quickly spotted the other Bob-Whites. She made her way through the tables toward the others.
As she walked past one table, Trixie heard a female voice say, "Trixie Belden was a freak before and now that she's back, she's an even bigger one. That guy should have killed her instead of keeping her hostage."
Trixie was stunned. She couldn't believe the way people were talking about her. She began to wish she had never returned to school.
When she finally reached the table, she slid into a seat beside Di.
"How were your classes?" Mart asked.
"Fine," Trixie answered quietly.
"Are you going to get something to eat?" Mart asked.
"I'm not hungry," Trixie said as she propped her elbows on the table, buried her head in her hands and closed her eyes.
"You need to eat something," Mart said. "You barely touched your breakfast this morning."
"I'm just not hungry," Trixie said.
"You need to eat something," Mart repeated. "I'll grab you something while I'm in line."
Trixie sighed as she listened to Mart leave the table. She knew he was concerned, but she just wasn't hungry.
"Trix, are you sure you're all right?" Di asked gently.
She lifted her head and looked at her friend. She could see concern in Di's eyes, but she didn't think Di would really understand.
"I guess this is just more stressful than I expected," Trixie said.
"It is your first day back," Di said. "It will get easier."
Trixie just hoped Di was right.
A moment later, Mart returned to the table and dropped his tray on it. They all looked at him. Dan asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing," Mart said shortly as he settled in his seat. He put a plate in front of Trixie that had a couple tacos on it. "Here. This should help you through the rest of the day."
Trixie looked at Mart and got the impression something happened that he didn't like. She decided she wasn't going to press the issue. If Mart wanted to talk to her, he would.
Picking up one of the tacos, Trixie took a bite. She didn't want to have any other reasons for the people to stare at her. She just hoped she could keep the food down.
* * * * *
When the bell rang ending classes for the day, Trixie was relieved. She had a lot of homework and she doubted she could ever get it all done for the next day. Trixie reached her locker and quickly grabbed the books she needed.
As she closed her locker, she caught a snippet of a passing conversation.
"I can't believe how they teachers are coddling Trixie," a female voice said. "I mean, each class that she's been in, the teachers checked to make sure she was doing all right and offered their help if she needed help with her homework."
"It's sickening," a second female voice said. "She got plenty of attention before she vanished and she's getting even more now."
"She sure does know how to grab people's attention," the first female voice said. "She should have never come back to Sleepyside."
"That guy that took her should have killed her."
"We'd all be a whole lot better off if she never came back."
Trixie closed her eyes and tried blocking out the conversations. Everything she had heard was exactly how she felt. She had thought she was going to die and never see her family again. And with how much had changed in Sleepyside, she wished she had never returned.
Suddenly a hand was placed on her shoulder and she jumped into the air, dropping her books to the floor and letting out a shriek.
"It's me," a female voice said quickly. Di.
"I'm sorry," Trixie gasped, trying to get her heart to stop pounding so much.
"I'm the one who is sorry," Di said. "I forgot about how easily you startle. I made a mistake and I'm really, really sorry."
Trixie looked at her friend and knew Di was genuinely sorry. She recalled the other time she had been startled. She had been outside sitting at the picnic table at Crabapple Farm. She had been deep in thought as she stared unseeingly at the trees surrounding the family home. She had felt a hand on her shoulder and screamed. It had been Mart and he had been trying to get her attention as he made his way toward her, but she had been so focused that she never heard his approach.
Di had seen it and with Mart, they offered comforting words to ease away the terror she had felt.
"It's okay," Trixie said. "Come on. Don't we need to meet Mart and Dan?"
"Yeah," Di said. "I told them we'd meet them out front."
"Then we should get going."
Di helped Trixie gather her books and notebooks. Trixie closed her locker and they made their way down the hall to the front of the school.
As they stepped out of the building, Trixie saw the school bus pull away from the curb. Trixie inwardly groaned as she realized they would have to wait for the late bus. She wondered if her day was going to get any worse.
"Mart and Dan are this way," Di said and Trixie followed her.
They found the two boys sitting on the ledge lining the stairway to the school. When they reached them, Trixie said, "It's my fault we're late and we missed the bus. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Mart said.
"Don't worry about it," Dan said.
"I just feel bad," Trixie said.
"Maybe I could give you all a ride home," a voice said behind Trixie.
Immediately recognizing the voice, Trixie dropped her books again as she spun around. She smiled when she saw Jim standing there.
"JIM!" She threw her arms around Jim's neck and held him tight.
"It's good to see you too," Jim whispered and gave her a hug.
"What are you doing here?" Trixie asked as she released her hold on him. "I thought you had to register for classes."
"I did," Jim said. "I registered for classes this morning. I start in January."
"What kind of classes are you taking?" Trixie asked.
"A couple business classes, an English, a math, a history and science," Jim answered. "I figured I'd get the basic classes out of the way first before I focused on the important classes for my degree."
"That's good thinking," Trixie said.
"I thought so," Jim said. He looked past her toward the others. "Are you ready to go?"
"We'll meet you at the car," Mart said.
"And get Trixie's books," Dan said.
"All right," Jim took Trixie's hand and together they made their way to the car.
As they walked, Trixie said, "I'm glad you're here."
"Tough day?" Jim asked.
"That's an understatement," Trixie said, knowing she could be honest with him. She felt like he was the only one she could really talk to. Jim didn't force her to talk. He was there and ready to listen when she wanted to get her thoughts out of her head.
"Do you want to talk?" Jim asked.
She looked up at him. "I don't want to take up your time," Trixie said. "I know you probably need to get back to the city."
Jim cupped her chin in his hand and said, "You are not taking up any of my time. If you need to talk to me, I'm here. I'm always here for you."
Trixie knew he was being honest. Jim never lied to her and she knew she could share her fears with him.
"We'll talk at the farm," Jim said.
Trixie nodded just as the others reached them.
* * * * *
A short while later, Jim pulled his car into the driveway of Crabapple Farm. The five of them climbed out and made their way inside where they were greeted by Helen Belden.
"How was your day, kids?" Helen asked.
"It was all right," Mart answered.
"Trixie? How was your first day back?"
"Okay," Trixie said moving toward the stairs. "I'm going to change."
Trixie hurried up to her room and quickly changed into more comfortable clothes. She wanted to get out of the house and into the preserve.
Within days of being home, Trixie had realized she felt very unsafe in the house. It had immediately dawned on her that the feeling she had was due to the face she had been taken from the comfort and safety of her own room. She knew deep down that fear was still there. And to avoid feeling panicked, she spent as much time outside as she could. She honestly didn't feel closed in when she was outside.
When she returned to the kitchen, she found her mother talking to Jim about the classes he was going to be taking.
"I think the classes I'll be taking will be very challenging," Jim was saying. "I did a lot of research about the classes and the instructors and I think I got the best."
"That's good to hear," Helen said as Trixie entered the kitchen. She looked at her daughter. "Are you two going for a walk?"
"That's what we were planning," Trixie said. "Is that okay?"
"That's fine," Helen said. "We'll be eating when your father gets home."
"Okay," Trixie said.
Jim got to his feet and they exited the house after Trixie grabbed her warm jacket. They walked in silence as they made their way toward one of the trails that wound its way through the preserve.
After they walked for a little while, Trixie turned to look at Jim. "You don't know how happy I was to see you today."
"I think I can guess how happy," Jim said. "I didn't expect the hug that I got."
"I'm sorry," Trixie said quickly. "I probably should have..."
"It's all right," Jim interrupted as he put a hand on her shoulder. "It's not a problem."
"I am so sorry," Trixie said turning away from Jim as she began to ramble. "I was just so happy to see you. I wasn't sure I would see you today and had hoped to see you knowing today was going to be a challenge and that seeing you would give me the strength to handle whatever came my way and when you showed up, it made me feel that it was okay and..."
"Shh," Jim said, pulling her close to his chest and holding her tight. "It's all right. And you have nothing to be sorry about."
"I just..."
"You don't have to explain. If my presence helps you, then I'm glad to be here."
"Thank you," Trixie whispered.
"You're welcome," he said as he continued to hold her. After a couple minutes, Jim said, "Tell me how today went."
Trixie slid out of Jim's embrace and turned from him. She didn't know what to tell him. She knew she could tell him about her classes and everything, but he wanted more. She knew it. He wanted to know how people treated her.
I can't tell him that, she thought as she stared into the darkening woods as evening approached. I can't tell him how people were behaving, or what they were saying. I can't do that. There's nothing he can do because he'll be heading back to the city in a little while. And it's not like there's anything he can do even if he is here all the time. It just doesn't seem to matter.
"Trixie," Jim said gently as he took her hand in his and got her to look at him. "Please tell me. I want to know how today went. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it." He placed his free hand under her chin and got her to look him in the eye. "You've been through a lot in the last month as well as the past several months when this nightmare began. I just want to help you anyway I can, even if it is just to listen to you rant or just talk about it all."
A small smile appeared on her face before turning into a full grin. Within minutes, she was laughing hard. She missed the grin that filled Jim's face, but smiled through her laughter even more when Jim started laughing.
It took several moments for them to stop laughing. Trixie had to lean forward with her hands on her knees to catch her breath. When she finally could breathe again, she straightened up and looked at Jim, a feeling of being truly blessed for her friendship washing over her. She knew he really cared for her.
Without saying a word, Trixie moved to Jim, giving him a hug that seemed to thank him for all he hand done in the past few weeks.
Jim returned the hug as he said, "You are my best friend and I will do anything, and I mean anything, to help you get through this. And the only way I can help is if I know what's going on with you, in and out of school."
"Jim, I don't want to be a burden," Trixie said quietly as she closed her eyes, relishing in Jim's embrace. "Everyone has been great, always doing things for me, asking me if I'm all right, but it doesn't feel right. I feel like since my return that I'm an outsider looking in. So much time has passed. There are so many things that I missed that I will never get back." Her voice went softer. "Sometimes I get the feeling that I should never have been found."
"I don't feel that way," Jim said quickly. "Every day since I found you, I've been grateful that the stars were shining down on us so that you would be brought back to the people who care about you most in the world." Jim reached up and ran his hand through her silky ponytail. "I was lost without having you right next door. You have always been my best friend, Trixie, and I felt as if a part of my heart had been torn out when you vanished and we couldn't find you. I know that's how everyone felt."
Trixie knew Jim was being genuine. It felt as if a part of her inside was softening from the hard shell she had put up. She had a feeling a crack was beginning to take shape.
"Trixie, your disappearance took the sun from my life. Since that day, there was never a smile on my face until I saw you in the park. You are the one who put the smile on my face when I came to Sleepyside and gave me a real family. If it hadn't been for you, I would either be working on some boat or have been caught by Jonesy and returned to a life of beatings."
Trixie leaned back from Jim and looked him in the eye. "But you didn't. You're with the Wheelers and they love you."
"And they do because you were the one who introduced us," Jim said, cupping her face in his hand. "You did that for me. Now, let me help you. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what you're thinking. I know we can get through this."
Trixie let out a sigh and looked at the ground. A voice inside of her head told her that she should confide in Jim about all that was going on in her head. But another part warned her not to burden Jim with her problems when he had things on his own life that he needed to focus on.
"Come on," Jim said, taking her hand and resuming their walk. "How were your classes today? Was it confusing?"
"It wasn't bad," Trixie said as she fell in step beside him. "The teachers were nice."
"What did they say?"
"They welcomed me back and at the end of class, they told me that if I needed help understanding the material that I could come to them and they would help me so that I won't get real far behind."
"That was nice of them."
"They were nice," Trixie said. "They made me feel like I really did belong there."
"But who didn't?" Jim asked gently.
Trixie remained quiet. The comments she had heard all day long swirled through her head. Trixie Belden was a freak before and now that she's back, she's an even bigger one. That guy should have killed her instead of keeping her hostage.
She sure does know how to grab people's attention. She should have never come back to Sleepyside.
"Come on, Trix. Talk to me," Jim said. "I don't want to have to use my powers of persuasion to get you to talk to me. We've always been honest with each other and I don't want anything to change that." He stopped walking and forced Trixie to look at him. "Let me help you."
Trixie looked into Jim's eyes. She saw love, understanding and a willingness to help. She knew she could be honest with him.
Looking down at the ground, Trixie began speaking. "It was a tough day and I felt really out of place in school. I mean, I knew things were going to be a bit awkward. The people I've known forever, I thought they would welcome me back. But they didn't. They treated me as if I was an outcast and had been involved in something illegal. No one talked to me, except for the Bob-Whites. The people I thought were my friends, completely snubbed me. And the comments I heard just seemed to make me think I just didn't belong." She looked back at Jim. "And I really think they're right."
"They aren't right," Jim said matter-of-factly. "If they can't realize you didn't ask for what happened, then they are the ones with problems and can't be considered your friends. For those few people, they are the ones who are losing out. Trixie, I can assure you that you do belong here with all of us."
"I just don't feel that way," Trixie said. "Everything is so different from what I remember."
"Things have changed," Jim said, moving over to a fallen tree and sitting down. He pulled Trixie over and she settled close to him. "We all had to make adjustments, but we never once, ever, forgot about you."
"Believe me, everyday I was gone, I was thinking about you." Trixie leaned her head against his shoulder. "There were many days that I thought I would never see you again and held the slimmest hope it would happen."
"Believe me, I always had hope we would be together again." Jim wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "And we did everything we could to find you."
"I know you did."
"And don't let what people say at school bother you," Jim said. "You know what happened, as do the rest of the Bob-Whites, and that's all that matters, Trixie. That's all that matters."
Trixie looked at Jim, offering him a smile. "Thanks, Jim. You've made me feel a whole lot better."
Jim kissed the side of her head. "I'm always here to help."
Trixie sighed. "I just wish you were always here, instead of living in the city."
"I wish that too, but that's not a possibility right now," Jim said. "But you don't need to worry. Your parents are here as well as the rest of the Bob-Whites, and Brian and I are only a phone call away if you need us."
"I know that," Trixie said.
Jim kissed the top of her head again.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company.
After a little while, Trixie said, "We should probably head back. Moms will probably be worrying."
Jim ran his hand through her hair. "She only worries because she cares. That's why all of us worry."
"It just feels a little stifling all the time, always being with me, always making sure I'm all right. Especially Mart."
"Mart may not have told you this and he may get angry at me, but there's something I think you need to know."
Trixie lifted her head and looked quizzically at Jim. "What is it?"
Jim brushed a strand of her hair back from her face. "Like I told you before, when we found out you were missing, we all continued searching for days, doing all we could to find you. We all were running on pure need to figure out where you were. We were barely sleeping or eating. It seemed that during that first week, Mart took your disappearance the hardest. Every minute of every day, he was on the go, checking every place that you could have possibly been taken to. He kept going until exhaustion took over."
"I don't understand," Trixie said slowly, trying to figure you where Jim was going.
"Mart was going on worry to the point where he collapsed from emotional and physical exhaustion."
"Oh my!"
"He was really worried when you were missing and I honestly think he doesn't want to let you out of his sight."
"For fear that it could happen again," Trixie concluded.
"I think that fear is always in the back of our minds, but we're not going to let that stop us from living."
"I feel the same way," Trixie said. She leaned over and gave Jim a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much for listening and talking to me."
"I'm glad I'm here to help." Jim looked at his watch. "Come on. We better get back or there may be a search party sent out for us."
"You're probably right," Trixie said getting to her feet. "Will you stay for dinner?"
"Of course," Jim said standing up.
"Good."
* * * * *
For the rest of the week, Trixie got herself into a routine of going to class and focusing on her work. She had taken Jim's advice to heart and tried to ignore the comments the other students were saying about her. She knew the truth and that was all that mattered.
She had also taken up several teachers' offers for help a couple times when things got confusing, and they took their time helping her to understand. She was grateful she could go to them and that they were patient with her.
As the day came to an end, she was looking forward to going home and hanging out with her friends. She was very excited because Jim would be coming to Sleepyside the next day and spending it with her.
But he wasn't the only one coming home. Brian was also going to be there to see all of them. It had been a couple weeks since they had seen one another and she missed him terribly. She talked to him a couple times on the phone, but it wasn't the same as talking face to face.
When the bus pulled to a stop in front of Crabapple Farm, the four of them got off and made their way to the house. All week long they had gathered at the farm to tackle their homework and be there to answer any questions Trixie might have had.
As they approached the house, they saw an all too familiar car parked in front of the garage, a car they hadn't seen in a couple weeks.
"Brian's home," Trixie said and took off at a run toward the house.
The others were in quick pursuit.
Trixie entered the house through the kitchen door and slid to a stop. Helen was sitting at the table talking to Brian. They both looked up at her.
"You're home," Trixie said, dropping her bag to the floor and moving to Brian to give him a hug. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," Brian said giving her a squeeze.
"What are you doing here?" Trixie asked leaning back. "I didn't think you were going to be here until later."
"Hey guys," Brian said as the others entered the kitchen. "And the reason I'm home early is because there was a water main break on campus and all classes were cancelled. So here I am."
"We're glad you're here," Mart said clapping Brian on the back.
"So what are the plans for the weekend?" Brian asked.
"Just hanging out and having fun," Di said.
"And getting our homework done," Dan said.
"And Jim will be here tomorrow too," Trixie said.
"I think that calls for a house party," Helen said. "And maybe even a sleepover tomorrow night."
"Really?" Mart asked.
"I don't see why not," Helen said. "Now scoot. Go get some of your homework done so you all can really enjoy the rest of the weekend."
"Okay," Mart said and headed into the living room with Di and Dan.
Brian took hold of Trixie's hand and pulled her to a seat at the table. She knew he wanted to talk.
"How was your first week?" Brian asked.
"It was all right," Trixie said. "It started out a little rough, but it got better."
"What was rough about it?"
Trixie knew Brian wanted the truth. When they had talked a couple days earlier, she had alluded to the rough beginning, but hadn't gone into details. He wanted the particulars now.
Trixie looked her eldest brother in the eye. "It was scary," she began softly. "Everyone was staring at me and I really didn't want to be the center of attention. It didn't seem like I belonged."
"You do belong," Brian said as he reached over and squeezed her hand. "You have always belonged and will always belong."
"I know," Trixie said. "But that's how I was feeling."
"And now?"
"At times I still feel that way, but I'm now focusing on what I need to do so that I'm okay and can adjust to the changes I'm facing everyday."
"I think you're getting better because that sounds like a Trixie-speak sentence," Brian said with a grin.
Trixie giggled. It had sounded like one of the sentences she was known for. "You're right."
"So, what else happened?"
"Besides the staring and the comments, it's been okay. The teachers have been really supportive and helpful when I don't understand what's going on."
"That's good," Brian said.
"And I'm actually understanding what's going on once they've explained it to me," Trixie said. "They're being awfully patient and I'm really grateful for all their help."
"That's good to hear. But how are you doing? I know that when I left, you were still having trouble sleeping and were jumpy a good amount of time."
"Well, I'm getting about four hours of sleep at a time. The other night I got six hours."
"That's good. And the jumpiness?"
Trixie sighed. "It's still there. Little things have been setting me off, but I know I'll overcome it."
"I know you will," Brian said. "You just need to be patient; the jumpiness will fade as you begin to feel safer."
"I know," Trixie said. "I'm just so glad you're home. I've missed you so much."
"Same here," Brian said. "Why don't you go get started on your homework while I help Moms get dinner going?"
"Okay." Trixie gave Brian a hug. "Thanks for coming."
"I'll always be here for you, Trix. Always."
Trixie gave him a small smile, grabbed her bag and headed into the living room to join the others. She had a feeling it was going to be a great weekend.
* * * * *
In the wee hours of the morning, Trixie sat up in bed breathing hard, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. Beads of sweat were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were wide as she looked about her bedroom. It was dark and she was alone.
But the terror that gripped her didn't seem to go away. Trixie quickly slipped out of bed and left her room. Once in the hallway, she looked at the closed doors. She wanted to go somewhere, but she didn't know where.
Trixie turned and made her way downstairs. As on previous nights when she had woken in the same condition, she made her way into the living room. Trixie settled in the recliner that was in the shadows and pulled her knees to her chest.
From her position, she could see anyone moving outside the house in the front yard. She could also see anyone who may enter the house through the living room or kitchen, or even come down the stairs.
She knew what the fear was that sent her to the living room every night. Even though Trixie knew her abductor was in jail, she was still terrified. She had been taken from the safety and security of her home, her own bedroom.
The first night she had gone to bed in her old bedroom, she had stayed awake all night, listening to the noises. She was terrified and couldn't get the fear to go away. In an attempt to try and not be so afraid, she had tried to find a place she felt calmer. That was the living room. Sometimes she dozed in the recliner, but more often than not, she just sat there in the darkness, waiting for sunrise.
The stillness of the night was broken a few minutes later with the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.
Trixie pulled her knees to her chest, terror sweeping over her, unsure of who was coming down. She just hoped she was far enough in the shadows so she couldn't be seen.
The footsteps stopped on the first floor and Trixie held her breath. She waited to see where the person would go.
Suddenly the light came on and she blinked against the brightness.
"What are you doing down here?" A voice she was familiar with asked. It was Brian.
She looked at him. She wasn't sure he would understand.
Brian moved over to the couch and sat down. "Come sit with me."
Trixie quickly moved to the couch and settled beside her eldest brother. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her close.
"Why are you down here?" Brian asked softly. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
Trixie settled her head on his shoulder. She really didn't want to tell him.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"My life is a nightmare."
"Nightmares are not real," Brian said pulling her close. "Nightmares are a result of an overactive mind and they can't hurt you. No matter what happens, they aren't real, Trix."
"But it is," Trixie whispered, snuggling closer to Brian, seeking some sort of comfort and safety.
Brian pulled the hair back from her face. "Tell me what is was about, Trix. If you talk about it, you may be able to get rid of it."
Trixie trembled. She was terrified of saying what the nightmare was. She didn't want to put anyone else in harm's way.
"Come on, Trix. Talk to me. Nothing will happen to us."
Trixie wished she could believe her brother, but the fear gripping her entire being seemed to paralyze her vocal chords.
"Okay, Trix. We won't talk about it now. But in the morning we will talk. I think keeping this nightmare bottled up is keeping you from getting a good night's sleep."
"I'll never get a good night's sleep again," Trixie said. "I'll never sleep again."
"You will," Brian said, caressing Trixie's arm, hoping to help her relax. "Why don't you close your eyes and try to relax?"
Trixie lifted her head off Brian's shoulder and stared at him with wide eyes. She didn't want to go to sleep.
Brian reached over and cupped Trixie's chin in his hand. "It's okay. I'll be right here. If you start to have another nightmare, I will wake you up."
"You promise?"
"I promise." Brian kissed her forehead. "Now, come on."
Trixie settled her head against Brian's shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt the afghan from the couch get draped over top of her. With a deep breath, she tried to get her body to relax. She hoped she could sleep.
* * * * *
The sound of dishes being set on the table startled Trixie. Her eyes flew open and she glanced around, confused at where she was. Looking around, she realized she was in the living room of Crabapple Farm.
"You're all right," a familiar voice said.
Trixie turned her head slightly and saw Brian gazing down at her. That was when she realized she had her head on his lap.
"How did you sleep?" Brian asked, reaching up and brushing the hair back from her forehead.
"All right," Trixie said quietly. "Thank you for..."
"There's no need for thanks," Brian said. "Come on. Moms' is getting breakfast ready. We should go join them."
"Okay."
Trixie sat up and let out a breath. She felt more relaxed than she had since her return home. She felt well rested and knew for certain that she had fallen asleep and hadn't had another nightmare. That was the first time since the terrible experience had began. She had a feeling the tide was turning.
Together they went into the dining room and saw their parents were already seated.
"You look well rested," Peter said as he took her seat.
"I slept really well," Trixie admitted.
"How late were you both up?" Helen asked.
"Not late," Brian said. "We both had busy days yesterday and know we'll be up late tonight."
"We will need to run into town later to get some more supplies," Helen said.
"I can do that if you'd like," Brian offered.
"That would be a great help," Helen said. "I can have a list ready right after breakfast if you want to go before your festivities begin."
"I think that's a good idea," Brian said.
At that moment they heard feet thundering down the stairs. Mart and Bobby entered the dining room and settled at the table.
"I hope you left me some food," Mart said.
"You should've gotten up earlier if you wanted some," Brian said, and the wiped his mouth with a napkin. "And since you're eating, I'm going to shower."
"You better save me some hot water," Trixie said.
"I will." Brian left the room.
"Eat up, everyone," Helen said. "We have work to do before everyone descends on the farm."
"We know, Moms," Mart said, scooping up a fork full of eggs. "Don't worry. We'll get everything done."
"I know," Helen said. "I just didn't want you all to forget."
"We wouldn't," Mart said.
"Well, since I'm done, I'm going to head out and get started on the yard," Peter said. "Mart, when you're done, I hope you can help me."
"I'll be out as soon as I finish."
"All right," Peter said, and left the table.
"After you finish, if you could all bring your laundry down, I'll take care of the dishes," Helen said.
"Is there anything else that needs to be done?" Trixie asked.
"Would you mind dusting and vacuuming the living room?"
"I'd be glad to," Trixie said, standing up. "I'll go get started."
"Are you sure you had enough to eat?" Helen asked, eyeing Trixie's nearly full plate.
Trixie glanced down at her plate. The eggs and toast were still there. She had eaten half a piece of toast and some of the eggs.
"I'm fine, Moms. But if I do get hungry, I can fix myself something."
"All right," Helen said.
Trixie took her dishes into the kitchen and scraped the food into the trash. She placed them in the sink and then headed into the living room to start on her chores.
* * * * *
By lunch time, all the chores were done and the other Bob-Whites were beginning to descend on the farm. Di had arrived as Trixie was finishing vacuuming and had helped to move the furniture back into place.
Dan had stepped into the house as Trixie and Di were bringing down the sleeping bags from upstairs. He piled them in the corner of the living room since that was where they all would be sleeping that evening.
As the last of the sleeping gear was stacked, they heard a vehicle engine approaching the house.
Trixie hurried to the door and saw Jim's Jeep pulling to a stop. She pushed the door open and ran to greet him. As he stepped out, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"I'm so glad you can be here," Trixie said.
"I'm glad I can be here too," Jim said. "And I've brought you a surprise."
Trixie leaned back from Jim. "A surprise? For me?"
Jim nodded. He looked toward the front of the Jeep. Trixie looked in that direction to see what it was. She gasped. Honey.
"HONEY!" Trixie yelled.
She released her hold on Jim and ran around the Jeep to Honey, crushing her best friend in a hug.
"It's good to see you too," Honey said, trying to keep the tears off her face.
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you as well." Honey leaned back and looked Trixie over. "You're looking good."
"I'm feeling good," Trixie said. "You look good too."
"Thanks."
"Honey!"
They both turned and saw Di hurrying out of the house in their direction. Right behind her were Brian, Mart and Dan. Honey gave the others a hug when they reached her.
"It's so good to see all of you," Honey said.
"I didn't think you were going to be able to come out this weekend," Trixie said.
"We were able to do some persuading, and Mother and Dad agreed," Jim said.
"I'm so glad," Trixie said. "All the Bob-Whites are here."
"Hear, hear," Mart said.
"Come on, let's help you take your things inside and get this party started," Brian said.
Jim and Honey grabbed their bags and followed the others inside. They took Honey's bag up to Trixie's room and Jim's bag to Mart and Brian's before returning to the living room.
"So, what are the plans besides the sleepover?" Honey asked as she settled on the couch beside Trixie.
"We really didn't have much planned," Mart said. "We figured just hanging out would be fine."
"Well, we could go riding," Dan suggested. "I happen to know that there are five horses in the stable right now and two grazing in the corral."
"How?" Brian asked.
"Well, I can answer that," Jim said. "I had talked to Dad and told him how I was coming out this weekend and that Brian was going to be here. I suggested that we could exercise the horses to help Regan out and Dad thought it was a good idea. So, there are horses waiting for us."
"How did you know, Dan?" Trixie asked.
"I stopped to see Uncle Bill on my way home yesterday and he told me. So, when I came from Mr. Maypenny's this morning, I brought Spartan and left him in the corral with Sunny."
"You knew too?" Mart asked as he looked at Di.
She nodded. "Dan let me know. We figured if Sunny was already there, we wouldn't be wasting time waiting while we could be riding."
"Then let's go," Brian said, getting to his feet. "It's getting darker earlier and we should take advantage of the daylight."
"I second that," Mart said.
The seven of them made their way up the hill to the Manor House and headed for the stables. As they got closer, they saw six horses were saddled and waiting in the corral. The only horse missing was Jupiter.
But at that moment, Regan exited the stable leading Jupiter. He smiled when he saw all of them. "Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Regan," they chorused.
"Everything is all set," Regan said. "Just take it easy with them. Most of you haven't ridden in a while. It'll come back. It's just like riding a bicycle."
"Thanks, Regan," Jim said, taking Jupiter's reins and patting the black horse's nose. "We'll make sure we get everything cleaned up when we return."
"I know you will," Regan said. "Just ride safe."
"We will," Honey said, moving over to Lady.
"Let's mount up," Mart said as he moved to Starlight.
As the others quickly mounted their horses and got settled in the saddles, Trixie slowly approached Susie. She hadn't been on a horse since before her nightmare began. She wasn't sure she remembered how to ride.
"Are you all right?" a voice asked softly behind her.
Trixie turned to see Jim and Regan standing there, concern filling their faces.
"I don't..."
"It's okay, Trixie," Regan said. "I know it's been a while. But these are skills you never forget."
"It's not that," Trixie said quietly.
"What is it?" Jim asked gently.
"I...I..." Trixie couldn't finish.
"It's okay," Jim said.
"I'm sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry," Jim said, putting a hand on her shoulder and pulling her close. She nestled her head against his chest as he held her tight.
"Why don't you guys go ahead?" Regan suggested.
"Are you sure?" Brian asked. "We can wait."
"Go ahead," Jim said. "We'll find you in a bit."
"All right," Brian said.
They stood there as they listened to the hoof beats heading off onto the trail.
"It's okay," Jim repeated.
"I'm sorry," Trixie said, pulling away and turning from him. "If you want to go with the others, go ahead."
"I'm not going anywhere," Jim said putting his hand on her arm. "Come on, Trixie. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
Trixie slowly turned around and looked past Jim at Susie. The mare she loved to ride stared at her, wondering what was wrong with her friend. Trixie just couldn't do it. The fear seemed to take over her whole body, keeping her from something she truly loved. There was no way to explain it and she feared the feeling would consume her.
Author's Notes: My esteemed appreciation goes to Kaye for the edit. I really do appreciate all your hard work and catching all my typos. You definitely rock.
I also thank Vivian for hosting my web site and designing the page for this story. You truly are a gem.
And please don't shoot the writer or throw any tomatoes, I absolutely promise that there will be more soon. :-)
Disclaimer: This is an unauthorized fan fiction site and is not affiliated with Random House in any way. No profit is being made from these pages.
